Absurdity, My Friend

Got myself a girlfriend today.

Boo-yah.

tell it like it is brother

(Source: johnsturturro)

To a Truly Unfortunate Number of People I am Social With:

Sometimes when you talk, I imagine you swimming through broken glass. I don’t like you.

teaj-maple Asked

Questiongood evening. Answer

Hi T.J.!

apocalypticabyss:

Acid Trip Experiment

(Source: luciditysbest)

allofthefun:

just to be clear I would be completely down for joining super secret boy bands

two steps ahead of you

So prom was a lot of fun. So much grinding. So much. Just, like, a massive amount of pushing my body as tight as possible against my date’s body.

I am sore.

But it was a lot of fun, especially for having one day’s notice (my friend’s platonic date got really sick, so she asked me to step in).

“In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people angry and has largely been regarded as a ‘bad move.’”

(Source: versionversion)

Seriously, if I don’t do something absolutely great with my life, I might have to do something evil, or crazy, or some shit. I just can’t stand the thought of not being remembered as someone who was, as L. Ron Hubbard put it, “smashing my name into history so violently it will take a legendary form even if all books are destroyed”. I don’t care if it’s for saving the world, or ruling it with an iron fist, or being a broadway legend, or a billionaire CEO. I’m going to be famous, goddammit. Try and stop me.

Life Plans

1. Continue dicking around

2. Agressively flirt with everyone I encounter

3.?????

4. Profit